Where I live in Worcester it is a fairly mainstream place. People do not vary that much and the majority are white, professionals, so when the phone rings I usually just get asked a few questions about me and 9 times out of 10 a booking is created. It's rather simple and straight forward really and thinking about it the only time I get asked if I am ok with them is if they are very young or around pensionable age and then they might just double check that I am ok with that.
Bearing this in mind, when I first joined Punternet and was very green I admitted on the forum that I was asking potential clients for photo verification and their age, as I had an upper age limit. In my mind I was creating a safety net with the photo verification. Having a picture on my computer, if anything happened to me, then the person would be traceable (that was my thinking) and the age thing was nothing to do with me not fancying older men, but the fact that I married one and being married for me was the most God awful experience. I was pretty much mentally abused during my marriage and the scars are still with me today, despite it being over a decade ago since I got divorced.
The reaction on Punternet was not good. I got slated badly, shunned by some and bad mouthed by others. At one point I was told to go back to swinging (by other ladies) as I was not an Escort and that I must be using the pictures to blackmail people by some of the more scenior members. A lot of assumptions were made and I was basically given the cold shoulder for discriminating. Oh and then of course I was discriminated against for joining UKP, as I must be a horrible person for wanting to be there, despite the fact that I just wanted to be treated fairly and without reproach. Of course UKP was not really the right place for me and that soon came to a natural and rather abrupt end, but sometimes we do things as a reaction more than anything and being shunned led me to look elsewhere.
Of course I know longer ask for face pics, it really was a pointless task, although it did make me feel safer at the time and it meant I was able to get used to the idea of meeting that person a bit before actually doing so, but sometimes it served to put me off the meeting, as you can read things into pictures that are not really there. Like a hardness to the face etc. I suppose I just needed to break myself in gently to the world I am now so familiar with.
Why I decided to discuss this topic today is due to having toured quite extensively now I have been quite surprised at just how many people are discriminated against by Escorts. While recently working in Nottingham I had several calls that asked a question that indicated they had been discriminated against by other people. Such as. I'm a biker, is that ok? A biker???? Why would that be a problem? I'm so confused!!!! Seriously this chap said he would be travelling by bike and apparently he has been refused to be seen due to this or at least he felt the need to tell me. Of course it isn't a problem.
The next one... we arranged the booking and then he said, 'Oh I'm black by the way, is that ok?' Ummm... of course it is ok, why wouldn't it be? To date including this gentleman I have only seen 2 black men during Escorting and half a dozen Asian. Why on earth would colour of skin have any impact on who I would see and it really, really bugs me that these people are having to sound apologetic for who they are. The tone of his voice when he said those words were so apologetic and you could feel the pause between asking and waiting for my response. It makes me sooooo angry! He was nice and polite on the phone, he was clearly English by his accent. Of course I will see him.
The list goes on of lovely guys who seem to feel they have to ask if something about them is ok and I have come to realise that I am probably one of the least discriminating people I know. I'm not going to judge someone for being poor, rich, a different race, handsome, ugly, fat, thin etc. The only time consideration is taken into place is if there is a communication problem, as I think this is vital to having a safe and enjoyable booking and sometimes my gut instinct will warn me off a booking. If someone approaches me in a vulgar manner or rude, then I won't take the booking. If they request something I do not feel comfortable with etc.
Reference the age restriction that I first started with, well I think some of my regulars could tell you that is history now. It's been a bit of a journey for me, as it was more a pyschological one than physical, but I have got my ex husband out of my system now and understand that being older, does not mean they are going to treat me badly or dictate to me and that some of the nicest men I have met have been twice my age. Of course we all have our fetishes and yes I do still get excited at the thought of a chap in his 20s wanting to play with me, but I also look forward to the more mature clients, who take time to understand how my body works and what buttons to press and of course the ones that appreciate me on a mental level, as well as the physical.
In my world variety is a wonderful thing. I believe that we learn from each other and the more differences we come into contact with the greater understanding for each other we have. I embrace difference, rejoice in difference and love difference. In life we tend to be scared of the unknown, because we do not know how to react with it or the unpredictability of it. Take the time to become familiar and all your fears will melt away and you will wonder why you ever feared it in the first place.
That's it really. Is there a moral to this blog? Perhaps don't be too quick to judge, don't make assumptions and assume you know why someone reacts the way they do and if someone rejects you for something as base as the colour of you skin or the mode of transport you take, then they probably would not be right for you anyway, but don't feel embarrased for who you are or what you do, as no one has the right to tell you that you are not good enough and if they do, it is they who is not good enough, as they haven't worked out that the world is a big place and there is a whole lot of discovery to be had, which will broaden their horizons and make them a better person.
English Kate In Belfast a short walk from the Albert Clock. Also touring the Republic of Ireland. Ask if you would like me to tour in your area x Tel: 07564749474 or 086 400 6295
Perhaps the same way you don't see men over 65 or under 25 because you don't feel comfortable is the same way some ladies wouldn't for instance see a black man.
ReplyDeleteIt is all about what makes us feel comfortable after all right?
I can see the connection and yes it is important to feel comfortable, but why would the colour of someone's skin make you feel uncomfortable? That is my point.
DeleteI think it is perfectly natural to not want to sleep with someone the same age or of similar age to your off spring, or someone older than your Father. It's more about bounderies, it's also about risk factor, as surely finding yourself face to face with one of your relatives friends is not going to be good for discretion.
I have to say these bounderies are also lifted on occasion. I have met with some older gents for a drink and on the strength of that accepted bookings, so there is flexibility.
With regards to comfort, I also tend to reject bookings from gentleman I can not understand or if they do not seem to be able to understand me, but these could be of any colour, it's not the important factor, the key is about communication and feeling that my needs are going to be met by this person and not abused. If I know 100% the person I am with knows no means no, then if anything should go wrong, it is because that is what they intended and I could do nothing about it. In contrast it could be that they just didn't understand that I didn't want to do something and in that case I have no retribution and lose total control.
In conclusion, each person should be considered as an individual. The boundaries are just there as a guide line and to lesson possibility of further problems, certainly not to be compared with discounting a whole race of people.