What no one wants to here

It seems that everyone who is anti prostitution has a blinkered view of both the ladies providing the service and the men who are paying for it.  I have to admit that before I started working as an Escort, I too believed in the stereo types given and thought the women were all sluts, likely drug dependent and alcoholics and the men all wore rain macs and were mysoginystic arse holes with no respect for the opposite sex.  Of course I was wrong to believe the hype and I only wish I had been more open minded years ago and then I would never have got into debt.

I'd like to introduce you to some of my clients.  There will be no names, but a bit of back ground and I hope if you have any empathy or compassion in your heart, you will see why it is unfair and wrong to generalise about people or contemplate criminalizing clients who book Escorts.

I met this man in Southern Ireland.  I won't say which part, as it is a small place and I don't want him to suffer for my disclosure.  He is in his early 40's.  A very slim man with fair, slightly wavy hair, beautiful blue eyes and around the same height as myself.  He was incredibly nervous.  He explained to me that he was a virgin and was finding it very hard to make eye contact with me. 

He was so nervous.  On this occassion I was wearing a corset, stockings, heels etc and I so wish I wasn't, because I realised instantly he would have been more at ease if I had been in a dress or more casually dressed.  To try to relax his nerves I moved forward and hugged him and while we were hugging he told me that he had never even kissed a woman before.  As I took in the reality of what h was telling me I couldn't help but shed a tear.  I looked him in the eyes, still crying and told him how sorry I was that he had never felt such a basic thing that most of us take for granted.  His eyes were so sad and so lonely.  I'm crying now just recounting it.

In response I gently kissed him on the lips.  At first he didn't respond, he didn't know how to, but gradually he grew in confidence and we began to kiss, gentle, caring, loving kisses.  What I found in this man was a natural lover.  He was responsive and responded.  He was gentle, caring and I admit that I lost track of time, because I didn't want him to walk away feeling that his first experience was all about the money he had paid.

We are still in touch some months later and I hope to see him again when I am next in his area.  He still hasn't met any other women or started to date, but I'm hoping that as his confidence grows, he will be able to not just approach a women, but recognise when she is interested in him.  He had no confidence at all, which is such a shame, as I really enjoyed his company and think he has a lot to offer the right woman.

Should this man be made a criminal for the experience we had?

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Another example...

I met this person in England through a website that I advertise on.  He first contacted me asking me if I could go to him, as he is disabled and can not travel.  I contacted him back to tell him, that I would be happy to do that, but could he first explain to me what his disability is, so I could do some reseach and decide if I am the right person for him.

He said he had a genetic illness that meant that he had a normal childhood, but once he hit adolescents his body started to waste away.  It also affected his ability to talk, but his mind was bright and active and he was still the same person inside.  So what we have here is a young man in his early 30's, who at the age of 15, when all his friends were looking to their future, dating and sport etc, was dealing with the fact that he would be lucky to make it to 30, he would be lucky to ever have a girlfriend or bonding relationship and would one day not even be able to satisfy himself, let alone a woman.

I agreed to go and see him, as I felt that he deserved a bit of respite from his solitary world.  He deserved to feel desired, in the way that many take for granted and I liked his personality.  Despite the crap going on in his life, he still had a cracking sense of humour and I wanted to know him.

When I get to the care home I'm shown in by his carer.  I wasn't sure she if she knew why I was there, so we chatted on the way, but it became evident that she did.  In all honesty most of the time we spent together was about company.  We chatted as I sat on the edge of the bed.  I stroked him while we chatted, as I believe human contact is important.  His room was full of pictures of naked ladies, he had evidence of his previous life all around him, like a visual diary.  This was a young man with a healthy sexual libido, who's hands could barely type or push buttons, let alone anything sexual.

Do you believe he should be criminilized for seeking my services?  Do I feel violated for spending time with this man who has gone through so much and yet every day wakes up worse off than the next.  A young man in a body that refuses to work, with memories of being fully able, being around girls and having a full life.  Of course I don't.  I only wish that there was more I could do, that what I do was more acceptable to society and instead of frowned upon, rejoiced for having empathy, compassion and the ability to express my love for my fellow human beings, the way I do.

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A client who has become a dear friend of mine has mild aspergers.  He had a beautiful relatonship where he lost his virginity as a young man in his teens.  Alas they parted when she went to Uni and where she moved on to new relationships and eventually got married, this is were his sexual life ended.  He is now in his 50's and has never experienced that love or a relationship again since.

Due to being aspergers he is a very sexual being.  He has relied heavily on porn as a stimulus and thus has become dependent on this stimul in order to orgasm.  Finally after 30 years of being celebate he turned to Escorts to try and salvage what he could of his physical desires, but he is hampered with a love that never really left in his heart and a knew problem of needing external stimulus to get the desired affect.  He is also a rather large man, so there are restrictions with visual eye contact in certain positions etc.

Before I met him he had tried and failed to get what he needed.  His mind simply refused to allow what the body craved.  I can't profess to have cured his problem and I think it will take a lot of time if possible at all when the mind is fixated, but what I give him is hope.  I haven't given up on him as others have.  I'm willing to look at alternatives and I accept him for who he is.

Should this man be criminilized for reaching out and asking for someone to give a damn?  For someone to be open minded and willing to explore with him, to make him complete and fulfilled?  Should he have to live with that emptiness?  I don't think so and I chose to say yes.  No one made me.

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Another time in Ireland I was booked by someone I had not met before.  In all honesty the booking was pretty straight foward in the main.  We had enjoyed each others company and were lay in each others arms with that after glow you get and he thanked me.  Of course I said he was welcome, as I had enjoyed myself too, but then he went on to tell me what a horrible time he had been having and how utterly depressed he had felt before meeting me.

It transpires that earlier that week he had attended the funeral of his Sister, who he was very close to.  It had affected him very badly and he was in a bit of a black hole.  He was thanking me not so much for the intimacy, but for my company, for listening and for giving a damn.

We had talked about our experiences with death and cancer and we just hugged.  Nothing out of the ordinary, just how I would be with anyone I felt needed emotional support.

A few weeks later I got a call of someone who said he was a friend of this person and he told me that I had not made just one person happy that day, but 3.  Apparently they had been going through the death and pain of losing a loved one together.  They had been friends since childhood.  He said that after seeing me he had a smile on his face and cracked his first joke in months, the mood had lifted and they were able to take the first step of moving forward.

Please tell me this man should not be criminilized?  This man who had watched his Sister die of a crippling disease they call cancer.  This man who couldn't see anything but dispair, who just wanted a moment of distraction, to be close to someone, who didn't know him well enough to feel sorry for him and originally took him at face value, who just wanted to feel normal for a second?

No one forced me to see him.  I arranged the booking with him myself and he sounded decent on the phone, so I said yes.  I enjoyed my time with him and gained such personal satisfaction in knowing I had made him happy.  You can't even begin to describe how that feels, other than job satisfaction.

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to be cont,

Old Year Out and New Year In!

2012

What a year 2012 turned out to be!  It's hard to know where to start.

A few lows I suppose, with one being losing the use of my beautiful apartment in Worcester and with it many of the regulars that I enjoyed the company of so much.  The apartment was so convenient for people travelling on the motorway and I miss it and the clients still very much.  It had to be done though, as unfortunately not many people truely understand or appreciate exactly how Escorts contribute to society, which in reality is far more than fulfilling a need.

With that aside, the positives have been tremendous.  Now settled in Cheltenham, with a small group of followers from my Worcester base (you know who you are and thank you for staying with me).  It's a great location that allows me to fully enjoy the locality on foot, which I love and as a place has a lot to offer.  I haven't quite built up the same regular base here, but that is largely due to my increase in touring Ireland and Northern Ireland.  I appreciate that some want to be able to see their favourite more than 3 or 4 times a year and at the moment that is not something I can offer.

Touring!

This has been a huge year for me with regards to touring.  There is very little left of Ireland or Northern Ireland that I have not covered yet and I have even managed to squeeze in the odd tour to London and Yorkshire.  The experience in itself has been amazing.  I love going to new place and as I am also a keen photographer, I have very much enjoyed taking pictures of some of the beautiful landscapes and skies I have encountered.

Recovery

With the loss of my apartment at the start of the year I did have alot of expenses to cover and lost all of the savings that I had built up to pay off some of my debts with.  In all honesty I have not quite built up to where I was this time last year, but I'm not too far off and in general it is looking good.  I may not have managed to pay off any of my debts, as I had hoped to in 2012, but I was able to deal with any problems that arose and have managed to maintain things without any stress.  Things could have been an awful lot worse, so for me it is still a result and lots of lessons learnt along the way.

Weight Loss

Total weight loss for 2012 was one stone and one pound.  Yes it was more than that at one point, but with touring and Christmas some of the weight went back on.  Having said that I'm still able to get into most size 14 clothes, but my boobs do need a size 16 top, as they won't always fit in a size 14.  Funnily enough, I'm having a lot of compliments on my boobs since I put the weight back on, so it seems that is where the weight has gone lol.  I guess it could have been worse?

2013

We all have to have a New Year's resolution.  Mine is going to be to stop procrastinating.  This year I'm going to actually do the things I have been talking about, instead of just talking.  I'm going to spend less time using my laptop for the sake of using it, or as a diversion tactic.  I'm going to be more focussed and I'm going to continue to lose weight.

Changes

Some little changes planned for this year.  I've had my hair re-styled.  It's still long, still red, but now the parting goes to the side and it's a bit more flicky.  I took this picture of Keira Knightly with me when I went to get it cut.

 

 

I'm also looking at losing another stone this year.  That is a stone from where I am today, not from where I left off.  I'm trying to make it doable and seeing as I did manage that last year, then there is no reason why I can't manage it again this year.  Yes if I can lose more I will, as the final target is to fit into size 12/14, instead of 14/16, but if that is in 2013 or 2014, I really don't mind.  As long as I achieve my goal and of course, as long as I look better and it improves the way I look and does not detract from it.

 

Plans

 

I do enjoy the touring and have already made plans to start again in February.  However, I am seriously considering if I would be better of locating myself across the water for a couple of years in an attempt to achieve my financial goal.  In the mean time here are my plans for Feb & March.

 

Feb

 

4th to 6th - Galway

7th to 9th - Dublin - D1

10th to 12th - Belfast - BT1

13th to 15th - TBA

 

March

 

4th to 6th - London Euston

 

11th to 13th - Tipperary

14th to 16th - Limerick

17th to 19th - Kilarney

20th to 24th - Cork

25th to 27th - Waterford

 

I will of course keep you informed of any location changes, but it is not likely to be before the Spring, as you can see I will be pretty busy up until the end of March anyway.

 

That's all I can think of at the moment.  I wish everyone a great 2013 and hope it is one full of love, lust and fun!  Let's also hope that we pull through our own personal recessions and have a prosperous 2013!

 

In the mean time you can find me in Cheltenham for the whole of January.  Give me a call to book on 07564749474.  Check my website for updates at www.curvaceouskate.com