Burlesque Show

Worcester Cathedral, not far from the Theatre      

What a brilliant night we had on Monday. A bank holiday with no rain!!!! It had to turn out to be a good day.

The Swan Theatre

One of my girlfriends very kindly booked tickets for the Worcester Goddesses to go to the local theatre and watch the Burlesque Show.

On arriving we piled into the bar and bought our pre-performance drinks and finally took our seats. We were sat in the second row from the front and most of the time they were very good, although the guy sat in front of me was very TALL!

The curtains opened and the evening began with a song. The host for the evening was a lady in her early 30s with dark hair in a pony tail; she was slim and had a look of Lily Allen about her. She came across as very confident and made little jokes about Worcester and Worcester sauce. She certainly had her work cut out for her as there was very little response from the audience to begin with, apart from a few hecklers lol. She tried to get us into the mood and encouraged us to, 'ooohhh' and 'aahhh' and say, 'saucy' if it got a bit steamy (which it did). Then she led us to the first performance.

I couldn't believe that it was half time already, as the first three performances were really good. We had a lady who was very young and slim come on with an umbrella with silver strands of paper all around it like rain. She teased us with her 'naked arm' coming in and out and then took this black thing off revealing the silhouette of a corseted body. The strands were pulled away and she danced with the umbrella, and then lay on a chair where she took off her stockings. I'm sure you can guess the rest.

The next lady was French and she came on dressed in the Renaissance period, but playing a keyboard? Of course she wasn't really playing it, but her timing was excellent and she really got the acting going well with a completely straight serious face and now and again a cheeky look at the audience as she started to take of the layers from satin gloves onward. She again, was very slim and had a beautiful profile (bitch!) although I have to say I do prefer my boob’s lol.

This is the French Dancer

The next lady was somewhat older. Obviously a dancer as she was so slim, but her face gave her age away. She did a number from Chicago, which got me wriggling in my seat and had an amazing voice, so she was quickly forgiven for not being young lol. Of course she put me and the girls to shame with her figure and I may pop down to the gym again when I get back off tour lol. I even had a salad for dinner last night, not that it had anything to do with it - honest! Then it was time to pounce to the ladies and back to the bar for our second and final drink.

Everyone in the bar seemed to be enjoying themselves, which was nice as they were the most unlikely crowd of people. Apparently the show had sold out very quickly, which kind of makes you wonder, just how big is Burlesque these days? Seriously there was a huge middle age to aging crowd in the Theatre with a few groups of ladies in their late 20s and 30s attempting to dress up. I had a lot of compliments on both my under bust corset and my mini hat (which I had made myself), which was nice. I had gone for the pinstripe look; fairly formal, but still sexy at the bust line.

We herded back into the auditorium and sat down ready to have our eyes feasted again. However, this time it started with 'Piff the Dragon'. Apparently his brother was Puff! Out came this short pan faced guy wearing a dragon costume, with a little designer dog in his hand. He was kind of a cross between a comedian and a magician. He was actually quite funny and there was a bit of audience participation that was good to see. There was a lady called Bex who went on to the stage for one of the magic acts and although it looked quite simple (involving spongy little rabbits in ever increasing numbers), it was definitely funny.

After this the host came back on stage again and dragged three girls up to show them a few moves. I felt that this was just going through the motions a bit and buying some more time for the acts, but I guess it was light hearted and fun. The three girls that volunteered to come up were nice enough, although one of them really fancied herself. She was painfully thin with a blue dress on and had dressed in the style of the 50s from head to toe. Sadly for her she lacked any sex appeal and the way she was paying so much attention to how she looked made her grinding and thrusting (yes you heard me right) look very stiff and gangly, yet the two girls next to her, who were very much the 'girl next door look' were really going for it and looked great.

The next three acts began. We had a girl dressed up as a man in builder’s fluorescents with tools. It was a really fun act and very sexy, lots of fun. There was another version of the keyboard playing, by the French lady and finally another act from our more mature singing lady. By this time the whole crowd were really into the show and there were lots of 'sauces' being shouted and 'oohhss' and 'aahhhss' a great atmosphere. I really don't think anyone was ready to go. I know I wasn't, but having said that, they do say, always leave them wanting more and they certainly did do that.

Now of course I feel the need to buy a couple of huge fan feathers and learn how to do a fan dance. If anyone has any a pair of red or black ones please.



Kate x