Time on my hands

Who's idea was it to take the slow ferry out to Belfast???? If you find them, shoot them for me!!! Oh hang on it was my idea, scrap that thought.  I'm not sure if it was a good idea or a bad one really.  I mean God what a waste of a day, but at the same time, it has been interesting to say the least.

So here I am, ever so slightly bored out of my mind and not able to gain access to the majority of things I enjoy using on the internet (I'm not sure what that says about me), but seriously, I can't even play bejewelled!!!! and I decide to take a wander outside and get some fresh air and while I'm out there I get chatting to this rather lovely Irish chap with two dogs and in the space of three hours I fall in lush, fall in love and fall out of love again.  Does that make me shallow? 

He had the most amazing blue eyes, he was slender and he was interesting, but most of all he loved those dogs.  How could I not fall for a man with such a heart?  He was confident and he was good company and he bought me a rather large glass of red, which I am seriously hoping is out of my system by the time I depart from this ferry.  We both chatted and drank, acting like school children who had never had a drink before.  It was almost as if we were both drunk after just a few sips, but it was mostly flirtatious and do you believe in fate? It transpires that we were both born on September 13th!  What are the odds of that?

Of course we didn't believe each other and this is the point where I was thankful I had been honest about my age, as we had to show each others passports to believe each other and low and behold it was true.  I had not just met a fellow virgo, but one born on the same day, a tad few years after myself (he is 31).

Now... After having a drink that had gone straight to his head and having 2 hungry dogs, he went to get some food and gave one plate to the dogs and ate the other for himself.  He had offered to feed me too, but I refused due to my diet.  I may well be breaking that very soon, as I had given one of my sandwiches to the dogs and I'm still hungry.  This is where I fall out of love.  Not because I am hungry, but being fed and watered he lies down in the sunshine and closes his eyes and proceeds to fall asleep.  Endearing as it was that he felt that comfortable in my company, I didn't much feel like watching him sleep and my delicate female frame did not relish falling asleep on the hard floor with my back against hard metal railings.

I decided to creep up without disturbing and pop back inside in the warmth and comfort of the soft chairs.  The question is... do I give him my number?  Or do I remember who I am and leave it as a moment in time that was pleasurable, but short lived?

I also have to ask  myself if the strong compulsion that I felt to kiss him was natural or a product of who I am?  Am I not capable of enjoying a man's company without wanting to devour him?  Or is this a unique situation of me wanting someone for myself?  Is it a matter of wanting what I can't have or is it more a matter of knowing I could have it if I wanted to take it?  Am I not taking the next step, because I don't want to be prooved right or am I scared of rejection?

So what am I going to do about it?  Well, I have written my name and phone number on a piece of paper and I may give it to him.  I doubt he would use it though, as he is only he for a short time and then he will be back to Manchester, which isn't exactly up the road from where I live.  He is also thinking of living in the Middle East, so nothing could come of it.  I wonder if that is a positive or a negative though.  I mean I can hardly claim to be relationship phobic with someone who is not in a position to offer a relationship.  Could I not just enjoy the moment?

To be continued...